"O" day alert!

     In my head it feels like there's a million little cells running around in chaos yelling "O" alert! 'O" alert! while some kind of loud siren sounds off in the background.

On CD13 I got a confirmed positive on my "O" tracker. Unfortunately there was no BD due to my BF feeling ill. But tonight my friends is the night ;) I had another positive today on my "O" tracker so I'm really hoping I haven't missed my window of opportunity. According to my BBT chart I haven't missed my window so I'm feeling rather positive. I would like to ask everyone who ventures into this post if you could kindly send me positive thoughts and *baby dust*. I've waited 10 years for my chance, I pray this is the one even though odds are against me. Sorry this is such a short post. I would like to leave you all with a quote ...

                                                      "Don't be pushed by your problems, be led by your Dreams"

TTC messing with my mind

   Today a thought made its way into my head, once there it wreaked a little havoc and left me feeling not so great at first. I started thinking about the "what ifs", yes it's only CD9 but my mind could not help but wonder. I thought maybe I let too much time go by. What if I'm not ovulating anymore? What if I have poor egg quality? What if my uterus is no good?(hasn't really been for the last 10 years) What if something is wrong with my tubes or ovaries and it was just missed? What if? what if? what if? Well after what seemed like an endless amount of time (probably half n hour) of feeling like maybe I should just wait until I find a suitable doctor, I thought there really isn't anything I can do right now about these "what if" scenarios so why don't I...

1- Just take a deep breath.

2- Acknowledge the thoughts and worries.

3- Acknowledge that there isn't anything that can be done about them at the moment.

4- Realize that I still very much want to give it a try even if there is a negative outcome.

 5- Keep going and think positively.

  
    The truth is I don't know what will happen in the future but it's not going to keep me from trying that much I do know. I would like to leave you all with a quote ...

                 "Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose"  

This is not my first rodeo...

   As I had stated in my first post I have been ttc before so when I went to buy my ttc supplies I knew what the basics were. I bought an OPK, BBT thermometer (Oh yes, I'm charting) and the dreaded pregnancy tests. See in my first post I failed to mention I had gone to a fertility specialist a few years back and I was "checked out" and apparently everything was in good shape . He actually saw that I was getting ready to release an egg *sigh* ahhhh yes I was and am ovulating. From what he could see there was nothing wrong with my uterus or ovaries. This did not have the expected effect of elation, oh no this actually made me feel devastated because the reality was I wasn't getting pregnant. Then I was dismissed because I was young and according to him "I had time". So now I'm back to charting. Truth is I think I'm actually scared of going back to a specialist and being dismissed. It's ok though, I'm feeling pretty positive that things may just work out with good timing, vitamins  and baby aspirin. Please don't mistake this for me being delusional because I'm well aware that this may not work at all and that I may just be avoiding the inevitable. I'm just hopeful. I would like to leave you all with a question if you happen by this post feel free to leave an answer on my comments,what have you added or taken off your diet to improve your chances at ttc?  

My infertile life ... story.

Ive always wanted to be a mother. When I was a child I would pray that my dolls would turn into babies lol.My story began almost 10 yrs ago. Got married young started ttc and... ended up with no baby and 4 barren years later a divorce. Now I'm 28 in a committed relationship and ready to start ttc again though we had not been avoiding having children they seem to be avoiding us. On a more personal level I'm the oldest of 3 and the only daughter , I'm Puerto rican and my younger brother's wife just added triplets to their beautiful family so yeah the pressure is definitely there. Now before you go whoa just know I'm trying to get through this with hope and positivity but I'm going to keep it 100 in this blog so its gonna have the good and the bad of ttc with awesome unexplained primary infertility.